April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

This is a very important issue to me.  I love my children very much.  I want to keep them safe at all times and one way I try to do that is to teach them their boundaries.  I don’t encourage building walls.  Just for them to know where they start and end as they move into other peoples spaces.

I try to teach them to trust their hearts, their bodies, their instincts and the values my husband and I share.  But I know that the best way to protect them is to heal myself and restore the trust that I am safe in this world.  That I am at peace in this world.

My interest in this topic goes beyond my own children.  It goes past all the children out here in the world today.  My interest, my heart, goes out to the Child Within the so many adults that have been hurt, neglected, traumatized, abused that move through life with their wounds still open, still deep.

LilaDance! is my contribution to assisting those seeking to heal those wounds.  We all have experienced struggles as a child.  I think we all have been traumatized at some point in our young influential lives.  It is hard to face some of the pain we felt then.  So we shove it down deep and try to forget.

We are often successful in forgetting.  But that doesn’t mean that child is gone.  That does not mean the pain is any less.  Its just been numbed by the busyness and distractions of our adult life.  It is up to us to remember if we want to move forward into true happiness.

“When we become aware that we’ve forgotten the wounded child in ourselves, we feel great compassion for that child and we begin to generate the energy of mindfulness. The practices of mindful walking, mindful sitting, and mindful breathing are our foundation. With our mindful breath and mindful steps, we can produce the energy of mindfulness and return to the awakened wisdom lying in each cell of our body. That energy will embrace us and heal us, and will heal the wounded child in us.”  -Thich Nhat Hanh

My goal with LilaDance! is also very personal.  It is an effort to deal with my own baggage and not pass it along to my own children.  I am a work in progress.  I have much to heal from, much to learn.  But I choose to remember so I can find peace within myself, reconnect with my Inner Child and be at peace with those I love.

Finding joy and happiness…

 

Be Happy, Right Here, Right Now

I painted these words to the left of my front door in our tiny apartment on the corner of 25th and E St NE, DC.  I was duking it out with postpartum depression.  I had had a miscarriage, fallen deep into depression, then got pregnant 3 months later and fought anxiety and angst each day during my pregnancy.

Delivering my daughter was an absolute gorgeous experience.  It was perfect in every sense… orgasmic even!  I didn’t think it was possible to experience childbirth in such a glorious way.  But my husband and I did.

And then, only a week later, the depression crept back in taking me further into the abyss.

I sat on my couch breastfeeding this hungry little baby round the clock!  I thought I was going to lose my mind.  But I was determined to be of sound mind, full of heart and strong body so I could care for this sweet girl, her brothers and her dad.  I needed a reminder.  I wanted to have something that would make me feel safe and happy every time I sat on that couch to feed my baby.  I would look up, force a smile and speak, Be Happy, Right Here, Right Now.

Now this has become one of my mantras in life.  The smiles come naturally and effortlessly (most days).  The understanding comes clear.  We do need reminders to be happy in the NOW.  Like anything else, it takes practice and patience for this type of peace to take root.  Happiness is a skill.

To build your Happiness muscle, try incorporating these 4 habits into your life;

  1. Gratitude  – Give Thanks for the things that make your life so good.
  2. Focus on the Good – Happiness is an emotion.  Grow that emotion with a little Positive Outlooking.
  3. Set Goals – Give yourself something wonderful to look forward to and give that vision energy by actively working toward it.
  4. Be Generous – Maybe some Random Act of Kindness each day will bring a smile to not just others.  But it just might bring a silly smile to your face that can last all day through.

Remember to be good to yourself, too!